Rule realities #1

We will take a short break from our tale to ponder what the realities and ramifications of the rules are.



Rule #1 is that women should be totally covered but for the eyes and hands at all times in public in Jordan. You must wear the baggiest, blackest, plainest clothes because Um Sahl says that the brothers fear they may lose their sexual purity if they see you wearing flowers with scarves or jilbabs with embroidered cuffs.



I have had a long time to think about and talk about and live the realities and the results of these rules on the hearts and minds of the men and women of Ktown.



I know that some of the murids who have never been to Jordan say "Big deal, you know the rule when you go there" but as it is with people who don't know what they are talking about this is not the case. Especially because a lot of people who say this are men and they are the ones who benefit from this rule. The rules are constantly changing and getting stricter. Murids who have been in the tariqa far longer and with more dedication than some of these people were upset about these new rules. Some people go when things are so lax that murid women were not wearing niqab past the block of the zawiya. They go home and say "No that rule is over with" and people think the rules have shifted. Because they do change -- all the time. With Qasid out of the way, and Qasid students strongly encouraged NOT to live in the neighborhood, the rules are becoming stricter.



What is the result of this rule? The result is that women who do not conform to it, as you have read, are outcast. They are cast in the roles of temptresses and jezebels. They are portrayed as disobedient, strong willed women who would rather revel in their feminine wiles than obey the shaykh and keep the men pure. You will be sitting with a circle of women having tea or a dars with one of the Ums and she will just mention, casually, that "Sister so and so isn't interested in the rules" and things like that. That woman isn't interested in real Islam, so why is she here.



It is an abnormal world where a woman who puts on a jilbab with a scarf that has blue and yellow stripes in it is turned into a sexpot. Think about that! Even in Jordan, if you wear jilbab you are already considered conservative and a holy pious woman. But not in Kharabsheh. In Kharabsheh you are made to feel like a whore, a deviant for wanting to wear pastels or colors or show your face so you can breathe. Sometimes the murids go to Egypt for a vacation and you hear them telling each other "And I wore a skirt! And a yellow hijab!" You start to feel that everything about you is your sexuality, that every man is a potential victim or wants to be with you - because that is what they tell you!



More than this - there are now rules about what you can wear in front of other women in the privacy of the home, such as no tank tops or jeans. The only time you can wear jeans and tees and tank tops is if your husband asks you to. Whatever the husband wants from his wife and finds sexy, she must wear it. Single women should never wear jeans, period. "Do you see me wearing pants?" Um Sahl asks. "Don't you want to dress like the people of Jannah?" Women are further divided to two groups - those who wear jeans and tshirts and "the clothes of the kufar" at home and those who dress like Um Sahl at home - a long skirt over pants, top, sweater or some sort of light vest, and hijab (yes hijab at home) or shalwar kameez. The ones who wear pants and tees at home, or who even wear pajama sets with pants, are seen as "not being serious" about their "suluk" or about being in the tariqa.



In some of the Qasid situations you had single women who weren't in the tariqa forced to wear abaya at all times AT HOME because they were roomed with a fanatical murid who would lecture them about true modesty and not "showing off your body" in front of others. I wonder if there was a fear of lesbianism between the women? That's what it felt like to one of my friends. "I'm feeling like if I wear a tshirt and capris, this woman is going to think I'm trying to seduce her," she told me shortly before she left.



The ramification of the rule is that men have no willpower and control over their sexuality. They are ready willing and able to be turned on by the smallest thing, such as the voices of women, the pressence of women , or a decorative button on her jilbab. Why is he looking at her jilbab? Never mind - it's her fault. So if he propositions her or God forbids, attacks her... Is that her fault too?



The man who complained about the light blue raincoat said that it was sexually alluring. What sort of headcase is turned on by a raincoat? Only someone who has it drummed into him that everything about women is about sex, and that women are out to destroy his spirit and all his hard work. That they are out to seduce him. Only a man who is taught to view women as trouble and a threat and only for sex would think to complain about a raincoat.



The people who don't come to Jordan aren't subjected to this mindset. The men in Jordan are very isolated from the world. Most of them don't have jobs and never really need to leave the neighborhood, so they don't see that most of the women either don't wear hijab or don't wear strict abaya. If the only women you see or most of the women you see for days on end are like black tents with feet, then the one who comes with her light blue jilbab will catch your eye.



This is the sickness of Saudi that they decry when they're at home in London or California but in Jordan it seems normal.



So that is the reality and the ramficiations of rule #1. It's not because people don't know about the "niqab rule" beforehand. It's that it is changing all the time and growing stricter. It's that they want to put this rule on women who aren't even murids. It's that the women are forced into a mode of dressing that makes them stand out even more in Jordan, where the murids are already made fun of and stick out and people dislike them. That's what the problem with it is.