Thursday, November 12, 2009

waht does the future hold?

As I read through my journals, the posts that I have written but not yet published, and wander in my own memories with friends, I am coming to the conclusion that there is not much further that one can go on this road.

By this I mean that after this, any continuation of the blog becomes a rehashing of the same charges. I don't see what the point is in recounting how pitifully brainwashed some of these people have become, especially when people are using that for their own ends. I do not want to feed the appetites or arsenals of the Muslims who want to use the misfortunes of Kharabsheh for their own personal, professional and financial gain. The stories are known.

Continuing this blog would be like allowing them to continue to control my life. Keeping it up here in its original form is like encouraging people to gawk a car wreck. The purpose is served.

You have been given the clues, the tools, the means to do your own digging and decide not only what is best for you, but what is best for the Muslims in regards to these people. The last three years have been stormy ones for the tariqas, not only Nuh Keller's, as people move away from their shaykh and tell stories of spiritual, sexual, physical, and economic abuse by Muslim leaders. So what are you going to do?

It's time, I think, for the Muslims, especially our leadership, to acknowledge the existence of deen-based cults and the harm they are doing. Even if it is just a minority of the Muslims who are being affected, the ramifications are far reaching. We have seen how some people have left Islam altogether after experiencing Nuh Keller and his friends, and he is not the only shaykh who claims to live by the Shariah who has driven people from Islam. That one thing alone should be enough for all of the Muslims and our leaders to give pause and reexamine our ties to these groups.

Wake up, Muslims.

Who was approached? Everyone. People in the leadership have been talking about Keller for years, and other people have had problems with Yaqoubi since he first showed up in the US. But when survivors went to leaders for help, the result was silence. No one wanted to help. Many turned away. Some apologized in private, but refused to do anything in public. No one brings aboard speakers who are seen as being boat rockers.

Like quilters, we have learned that we must patch our support together from what scraps, what resources we have available. Some parents and ex-murids went to a journalist. Most of us don't have that, all we have are our friends & relatives, and the internet.

You can start a blog, a Facebook group, a ning group, a message board forum, or an email support group. Using social networking allows people to come together from all geographic regions and get support.

If you write a journal of your experiences, it can be a big help. It doesn't have to be a blog, it can be a notebook. Just something that helps you make sense of everything that you lived through, and how you are moving past it.

Stop financially supporting them. Don't weep over what happened to the people there and then turn around and give them your money.

The embassies of several of our countries over there know about this already. They can't do anything about it, but awareness of harmful activities by citizens of their countries, directed at citizens of their countries is being raised. If you are in a position of being abused or you need help, the embassy can work with your family or friends in your home country to get you out.

I dare just one of you self appointed Muslim leaders to be brave enough to get on a stage, to set pen to paper to do something to say "No more of this. This is not acceptable. This is not the way the deen should be taught and practiced." I ask just one of you to live up to the leadership titles you are so quick to accept. Your silence is approval for what they are doing. When you remain silent, you are saying that this is a valid understanding of Islam in the eyes of the Muslim public. Just because you have told some of those close to you to stay away doesn't mean that everyone gets that message. Do you fear these self appointed shaykhs more than you fear Allah?

And to you, the parents, people who are considering going to Jordan, people who are losing a friend or relative to them - stick together. Find friends and share your sorrows. If we have learned anything from the last year it is that there are others out there who want to listen and reach out.

Never give up on your relative or friend. Remember that the way they treat you and the things they are doing are under the influence - like an addict. Someday they will probably suffer severe regrets and heartache over what they are doing now. Always let them know that they will find a safe harbor with you, whether it's tomorrow or three years from now. Leaving a cult is a process that takes a long time. It takes a long time to free yourself from the brainwashing, and even when you are finished and through with them and recognize them for charlatans, many of the concepts and ideas that they teach you stick for a long time. Be patient with your son, your daughter, your husband or wife, your friend. Losing the cult in some ways is like mourning the death of a friend. Yes, it was a false illusion, but it represented friendship, spiritual growth, and bonding. Even if you know what these guys are, you are still sad to have lost what it pretended to be.