Thursday, November 12, 2009

to be clear

I wanted to clarify something in the post below that is also a running theme, or something I had written about earlier.

For me, this is not about revenge. I don't have any desires to get even with anyone. It's like they say in the recovery movement, you let go and you let Allah. Allah is more than able to take care of people who do wrong! But I'm frustrated because I know that other people in the ummah, shaykhs and leaders, have been approached by victims and victims' families who want some sort of help and nothing has been done. If these people that harm Muslims don't feel any shame because everything is being kept quiet "out of adab" then they have no cause to stop what they are doing or apologize and make restitution for what they did.

If you think about it the idea that a blog or internet posting is "revenge" on these people is kind of stupid and must come from those who have no clear idea what really happened and how much was lost. Not just money. It wasn't just money that was lost. Some people lost their minds. Some people lost their Islam. People lost their husbands and wives, some people lost their children. You think a blog is "revenge" for that? That's pretty penny ante revenge. There's no "revenge" for this stuff. There's nothing you can post on the internet that would bring these people's family's back or put their daughter's mind back to right, or bring their financial stability back. "Revenge." That is the black and white simplistic mindset of the tariqa. That's the thing - those of us who are out are out because we have risen above that. Because we reject that.

When it was months and months, and even years that went by and none of these great leaders wants to touch this, and I see more people suffering - that is why I made my journal public. A sister who used to be in Jordan told me, "You know, I bet other people would feel a little at ease if they were able to read your journal and know that they weren't the only ones. Because we survivors have to look out for each other." I want to point out that you didn't see me posting links to this on that "big fitnah" blog or the blog of the other man who was writing about Keller. I could have done that easily if it was just looking for some attention to get some "revenge". I didn't advertise my blog, and only my friends knew about it. Other people who were there, people who wanted to tell their stories. I didn't say "Hey, look at me! Look at this! I'm talking about Keller, get your juicy gossip here!" If people told other people, that's their business. For me, this was just for my friends, for the people who needed and wanted to know, there is someone out there.

Only when I started getting dozens of readers a day from Amman did I post my calls, because then I knew, you guys are listening. And if you are an honest person, then you see what my call is. For Noah, Hedaya, and Besa and the others involved to make themselves right. With the people they wronged and more important with Allah. If it means selling the z building and not being tariqa people anymore, then do whatever it takes. If they repaid everyone who lost their money, I wouldn't benefit from that either. I just think they should do what's right. Do what it takes to make things right with Allah before the time comes that you can't make it right. Do I get any benefits out of that? No, I don't. I don't get any benefit out of Noah Keller turning to Allah and begging forgiveness and making repentance. Think about it. I don't get anything out of Besa changing her ways, and humbling herself. I don't get anything out of any of that. It's for their benefit, and the upside is that no more people would be harmed.

So let's be clear. This isn't about revenge, and I don't think that "revenge" is the motive for anyone who is doing anything, not the "big fitnah" blog, not the other guy, not the blog of quotes, not even the woman who put her ex's business out there. Not "revenge". Calls for clarity, for justice, for transparency. If you are right you aren't afraid to come out and put it out there. That is why I believe Nuh Keller should answer the call from the Arab Sufi shaykh and deal with that business in public. Then there can be no mistaking as to who said what - surely Keller has nothing to fear, right?

That's all I want. For the truth to be out there but also, because our Muslim leaders have FAILED to live up to their responsibilities as leaders, then I felt, once I knew I had your attention, that I had the responsibility to be the one to tell them - please repent before it is too late. I am their Muslim sister. I want only for them to have good by doing good. I want to see Nuh and Besa and Hedaya and the rest of them doing the best thing so they have no fear on the last day.

If you think that's revenge, you have serious issues.